


I'll see you in a minute (I'll never let you go)

by sunflower_smiles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A lot of feels, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, But I wish it was, Endgame has me shook, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Marvel Universe, Not Canon Compliant, So much angst, i will ship this forever, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 14:38:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18640129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_smiles/pseuds/sunflower_smiles
Summary: Natasha and Steve had already lost so much to Thanos and are willing to do whatever it takes to bring their family back. They just hope it won't take everything from them in the process. This is just a lot of my thoughts after endgame, and what Natasha really deserved. romanogers.





	I'll see you in a minute (I'll never let you go)

_Whatever it takes._

It was five years since the snap- the decimation as they now called it. They saw their families disintegrate before their eyes, their friends, the people they love. _Loved_.

And yet, while many said time heals all wounds, some wounds are just too deep to heal. Some tried to move on- start over, try again, resigned that they had tried everything- _everything_ \- and nothing had worked. Some people moved on, but not them.

The Avengers had exhausted every single option they had. They found Thanos, tried to kill him, but lost their chance to undo the snap in the process. Everyone was exhausted, tired, drained of their hope and optimism. The world was already bleak; it just got even bleaker. They tried. They really tried.

Even after five years, Cities were quiet. Entire streets were empty. No sounds of bees, of spring, of birds. It was eerily quiet. People longed for noise- voices- change- laughter- but all they could feel was stagnancy. In the early days of the snap, people cried loudly and openly; but now, after five years, grief welled silently in each person’s heart. Everyone lost someone, but it seemed like no one lost anyone. Parents silently mourned their children, lovers mourned each other.

After seeing the people that they loved vanish before them and losing everything they felt dear, they tried moving forward. But each step forward they took together, it felt like they were taking three steps back.

_Whatever it takes._

On the Milano, Steve and Natasha knew that the end was coming closer to them. When they were on the run from Ross, they really became a family. Both missed watching movies with Wanda and Sam joking about them being basically a married couple.

* * *

 

_“You better watch out Wanda,” Sam jokingly warned. “Don’t stay out too late with Vision or they will come and hunt you down. Miss Black Widow, here, had eyes in the back of her head.”_

_“Do I scare you, Sam?” Natasha quipped._

_“Yeah. Hell yeah, you do.” “Well”, Steve interjected._

_“Nat’s right. Check-in, stay close, don’t take any chances. We just want you to be okay.”_

_“Nat’s rights. Nat’s always right,” Wanda grumbled. “You two need to get a life, and stop worrying about us. We’ll be fine-”_

_“Madrid-” Natasha said, giving Wanda her “mom stare”._

_“That was once!” Sam protested._

_“Sneaking out of the safe house for coffee was not a responsible thing to do.” Steve rubbed his temples. He was really getting too old for this._

_“Sam needs to fuel his coffee addiction,” Wanda singsonged._

_Natasha and Steve sighed exasperatedly._

_“Look. Both of you guys are so worried about the two of us, you forget to look out for yourself,” Sam swallowed. “Nat, I thought we were going to lose you in Prague, and Steve, thank God you’re a super-soldier because otherwise, that bullet would have killed you. All we’ve got is each other. Don’t have any regrets.”_

_Steve glanced a sideways look at Natasha. She looked up and caught his eye._

_“We have what we have when we do,” Natasha murmured. She looked at Wanda, “Just be okay? We can’t lose you.”_

* * *

 

But they did lose her. Nothing thing that they did even mattered. No matter how much they risked getting her out of the raft, carrying her out. Holding her when she had nightmares, staying up with her, giving her tea. Letting her heal from the torture on the raft. Just to get her to lose her again.

They lost her. And Sam. And Bucky. And Fury, and Maria, and Vision and the Wakandans that took care of them. The nurse in Venice that saved Wanda. No amount of trying to forget would erase the pain of losing the people that they loved. They no longer remembered what it felt like to not fight. Each day was a battle, a fight to live, to keep going, even though it felt empty to keep living when everyone was dying.

_Whatever it takes._

Steve felt empty. The star-spangled man without a fucking plan. He wondered what it meant to truly be alive again. To not be afraid of being alone with his thoughts. To find joy in the little things. To be happy. To be free.

But even in the midst of his darkness and emptiness, he was glad that Thanos didn’t take the one thing he loved the most- Natasha. From her quirky smile to her flaming hair, her wisdom, tact, and ability to master any situation, he knew he hadn’t lost the one thing that gave his life meaning. For someone who believed she had no place in the world, she was his world- and the world of many who lived in it.

_Whatever it takes._

Natasha, too, sometimes felt like she was breaking. To see the sister and brother she never had vanish; to see her best friend lose his entire family; to realize that she would never see her nieces and nephews grow up. To see entire cities silenced, children homeless, and to hear loud silence.

She had lost a lot too. But somewhere in the midst of everything, she had found her happiness, her joy, and her love. What they had lost together helped them find themselves in each other.

_Whatever it takes._

He smiled at her and she smiled back, because at that very moment they realized that the soldier and spy would never be separated. They got down from the ship and onto the planet.

_Whatever it takes._

The air was musty and dark. The red haze that filled the horizon and the darkened shadows that lined the cliffs led only to nothingness. The stone platforms only echoed the coldness. Natasha felt a shiver run down her spine. Whatever happened on these cliffs was eternal- there was no going back, no regrets, no mistakes.

Instinctively, Steve inched closer to her back and placed a hand on the small of her back. At first, Natasha flinched at the contact but then eased herself into his embrace. They’ll be okay. They have each other.

“No regrets, okay?” Natasha asked. She leaned into his body, as his hands traced circles on her back, and her head leaned on his neck. “We’re doing this for the people we lost.”

“I know. I just want this all to be okay,” Steve answered.

“Me too,” she whispered. Natasha took Steve’s face between her hands, and kissed him. Her lips were soft and sweet against his. It was wonderful, glorious, a ray of heat that blasted through his chest and down into his heart and chased away the cold ache. They had each other. No matter what happens they will always have each other. Natasha leaned into Steve’s chest, and he wrapped her arms around her. God, Sam was right. He was the soldier to her spy.

They let go of each other and picked up their weapons to face the fight that was to come. Walking up the mountain, Steve and Natasha watched each other’s back: her batons trained on any target, and his shield covering the both of them.

_Silence._

On the summit of the mountain, a shadowy figure, cloaked in darkness approached them. “Congratulations. Steven Grant Rogers. Natalia Alianovna Romanova.” The voice hissed, “You have found the realm of the soul stone.” The figure then sneeringly faced Steve, “And look at you, Rogers, I didn’t think you were foolish enough to come back for another infinity stone.”

The Red Skull. Steve gasped. “I thought you died with the tesseract,” he weakly offered.

“You thought you died with the tesseract as well,” the Red Skull mocked.

_Whatever it takes._

Steve attacked and rammed his shield into the skull. The Red Skull’s eyes narrowed, and he charged. Steve dodged another heavy blow from his opponent, scrambling back when the super-powered fist raced toward him. Steve danced to the side, whirling and delivering a mighty kick to the Red Skull’s back. Again his foot met material that was seemingly unbreakable, and a sharp pain shot up his calf to his knee. The Red Skull pushed him over and charged towards Natasha.

Natasha readied her batons and sent a charged hit to the Red Skull’s arms. He attacked her, powerful and angry, lunging at Natasha. Natasha sidestepped, and in a flash they were fighting, lightning quick and powerful. Natasha sidestepped the blow, grabbing for the other’s wrist and twisting. The Red Skull gave a frustrated yowl, and a vicious punch with his free hand sent Natasha reeling.

Steve got back up again and ran to where the Red Skull was. He picked up his shield and threw it at the Red Skull. With a sneer, the Red Skull turned around and Steve slid to his knees to avoid another quick, vicious blow. Natasha, then charged at the beast, delivering a kick to the chest and launching the being of the side of the cliff.

Steve breathed a sigh. “We beat him. Where’s the stone here?”

“With me,” a voice thundered. Steve and Natasha turned around, shocked. “You can’t defeat me. I am bound to the stone until I am free of this curse. I can not die. I am inevitable.” The Red Skull laughed.

“What do you want?” Natasha demanded.

“Look at you Ms. Romanova, thinking yourself as a hero,” he snarled. “You are nothing but the same murderous assassin who killed innocent children. Still, think you have a soul to love and be loved?”

“I am not that person anymore.” She answered, with a hint of grief and guilt.

“What do you want?” Steve questioned.

“Simple. The stone demands a sacrifice- a soul for a soul. You must lose the thing that you love the most to gain the world. Many have come and failed.”

Steve turned to face Natasha. Both of their faces fell. Only one of them would be able to come back alive.

“Oh, pity. Is that love that I see?” the red skull laughed. Steve and Natasha paled in fear. “Both of you should have realized that there is no place for love when you lead this kind of life. The greatest of stones need the greatest of sacrifices. Alas, none of you have the will to do this.”

Before Steve could even turn around, Natasha ran over to the edge of the cliff and launched herself off the edge. She was tumbling, sliding, slipping away. A strong gust of wind blew across her face. Her heart was pounding, but her mind was resolute. As stated at the depths below, the shadows and clouds obscuring her view, she felt light. Weightless. Frozen.

This was it this was the end. This was it.

_Whatever it takes._

“Natasha! NO!” Steve yelled. She closed her eyes and felt a strong hand catch her wrist. She glanced up. Dammit.

“You have to let me go, Steve,” she reasoned. Fear was desperate on Steve’s face. His fingers curled around her wrist tightly, showing no signs of letting go.

“Nat. There has got to be another way. We’ll find something else.” Steve begged, his eyes clouding with tears. He pulled her up and didn’t let her go. “

You told me once that if it was down to me to save your life, you would trust me to do it. Let me.” Natasha pleaded.

“Nat,” he shook his head. “I can’t lose you. I love you more than anything else in the world.”

“Steve, let me go. Please,” Natasha implored. “You can use the time stone and go back to Peggy, live your life, be happy. That would be my greatest joy in the world. To see you happy."

“And rob her of the life that she made? To see shield fall silently, see Bucky become brainwashed by Hydra? To see the world collapse, Thanos rise to power? I said before that if I see a situation going south, I can’t ignore it.” Steve remained firm. His past was not going to be his new future. “No, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone. I left the past. There is no place for me in the past. I want you to move forward. I can’t let you do this.”

“I have red in my ledger,” Natasha tried again. “I have no place in this world. Let me wipe it out.”

“No. You matter. You have a place in this world. Your very presence has made our days brighter and has a difference to everyone. Wanda wouldn’t be prouder to call you her sister. Sam was glad to call you a friend. Tony, Bruce, Fury- they all have seen you grow and become a leader of the Avengers. Carol and Thor, Rocket and Nebula, Okoye: they all look up to you as a leader and a protector. You’ve made a difference, Nat. You don’t have red in your ledger anymore. Wipe out your ledger by leading the Avengers to victory. By getting Thanos for us.”

_Whatever it takes._

He didn’t want to fight her, but that was the only way that she would stop. Natasha readied her fists and stuck a blow into his side. He dodged and sent a fist flying to her shoulders. She caught his fist and rammed a kick into his chest. Steve fell, but got back up and threw the shield at her.

“Natasha! Don’t do this, please!” Nat stood back up readied her widow's bite, and she used her speed to launch herself at Steve. “I can’t stop until I know you will be okay,” she answered. She jumped on top of Steve and using her momentum, jumped on top of him and using her thighs, brought him to the ground.

“Stay down,” she said, “I love you.” She started to run, but Steve used his strength to flip her to the ground. He got up.

“I love you, Nat. Thank you for being my everything,” he whispered. With a leap, he flung himself off the edge of the cliff. He was tumbling, sliding, slipping away. A strong gust of wind blew across his face. His heart was pounding, but his mind was resolute. Weightless. Frozen. This was it. This was the end.

_It took everything._

“Steve. NO!” Natasha yelled. A tear slipped off her eye. She couldn’t save him. He was gone. Natasha fell to her knees and buried her face in her knees. In the process of getting the stone, she lost everything.

* * *

 

She pressed the button on her watch and landed back in the compound. Everyone was celebrating because they finally had all the stones and now would be able to get all the snapped people back. But she never could get him back.

“Where’s Steve?” Tony asked, looking around expectantly. Natasha’s face fell.

“He’s gone.” She whispered.

“What?” Tony’s eyes narrowed. Surely this was some kind of mistake.

“He’s gone!” Natasha yelled. “He’s gone! He gave himself up for the stupid stone. And- and-” He eyes welled up with tears. “I can’t do this anymore.”

She ran from the group, drowning out everyone else’s voices with her tears. Alone, in their room, she found a picture of the both of them while they were on the run in Europe that Wanda and Sam took. She had lost all three of them: her family. Natasha hugged the picture to her chest, when she heard the door open. She looked up and through her tears she saw Tony enter the room, and take a seat next to her on the bed. He hugged her and she cried in his embrace.

“Hey. I’m really sorry.” Tony said apologetically. Nothing he said could make this better.

“I can’t do this anymore. How could we have let it all come to this?” Natasha cried.

“We’ve all made so many mistakes, but loving others should never be a thing that we regret.” Tony smiled sorrowfully. “He loved you, Nat, and you loved him too. He wanted to do this so that you could have a better life. He’s at peace now, knowing we can bring them all back."

Natasha sighed. Tony turned around and picked up Steve’s shield. The red and blue vibranium colors reflected the fierceness of the leader that held it in his hands. “Here.” Tony gave the shield to her.

“This is yours now.” Natasha shook her head, “I can’t. I-” “No. Nat,” Tony was insistent. “You deserve it. Just as much as he did. You are brave, honorable, and amazing. Let Steve’s legacy live on through the good that we do. Let us be the good in the world.”

With that he rose up and Natasha stole a glance at the shield. A protector, a leader, a fighter- the shield embodied the good in the world. With one hard look at the picture she was holding, Natasha knew what she had to do. She picked up the shield and with a determined glare stabbed the shield onto her hand.

“Let’s get this son of a bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Endgame has left me with so much feels and emotions and I honestly can saw that I liked most of the movie. There were a lot of epic moments, it made me cry so much, but I really wish they did black widow more justice, and it doesn't really make sense that Steve who was never willing to sit back and watch the world mess up to just go back in time and not try to fix anything. 
> 
> And no hate to Sam, he does deserve the shield, because I think that Bucky doesn't feel like he is worthy enough, but if Natasha was alive she really deserves it. 
> 
> Overall, hope you enjoyed this major amount of angst and love, and I will ship this forever.  
> Please comment and tell me what you think.


End file.
